By Leel Liberty
Created for LANG 120 with Kristin Shepard
Category: Fall 2021 (Page 1 of 3)
By Shalise Thompson
The Quarantine Blues
I remember a moment in time where my life didn’t feel like mine,
Darkness cocooned me to sleep and somehow kept me up all night
I slept during the sun and cried to the moonshine
The soft dripping of rain would never sound out the screaming child
My youth left at the delivery room my mother gave birth
Swaddling babies while smothering my emotions
And now my arms are empty yet my wings didn’t appear
Taking flight into adulthood is something I wish to miss
No more blues and dirty diaper tissues
If These Walls Could Talk
These cinderblock walls are starting to feel like a prison
Despite my decorations and color I can still feel the division
The chill of the cream painted cinderblocks as they close in
The singing silence that bounces off these walls as I count to ten
Assuring me that these cinderblock walls are not moving
That my mental health is in fact improving
I watch as each cinderblock laughs in glee
At my attempts to open blinds and doors in order to feel free
To close my eyes in order to ignore
The prison cell I paid for
Yellow Wire
I always thought riding the bus meant poverty
Tired lines and half-bent knees of the working class
I’d watch cars pass by their lights gleaming in mockery
I always thought the bus moved too slow
Tired feet scuffling and wheels rolling but never moving too fast
I’d watch those around me look for a seat through the overflow
I always thought the bus was too small
Tired air would blow through the day it surpassed
I’d watch leaves move through the air and then fall
I always wondered when I would get to my drop
Tired minds and half-opened eyes laid against the glass
I’d watch as the world went on never to stop
Silent Cities
Hope is given to those who can still breathe
climate change has melted away all these irrelevant things
my eyes have been opened to the evil
and sewn shut to the good
I’m slowly forgetting the puzzle pieces of life
that at times there is less work in death than in being alive
there is more happiness in silence
than depression in these crowds
I am so used to the noise that would always swallow me whole
it would consume me and keep me quiet
threatening to take away my city
threatening to take away my culture
threatening to take away me
so in a world of noise I am silent
Summer has Fallen
Looking outside my window I see green
Trees growing wildly curving around the people who breathe harshly
the slippery but warm concrete stands still in an effort to be of help
As echoing feet leave imprints of their lives on top of it
Ponder hall stands straight holding so many different emotions
The sun peeking behind it in wonder slowing falling back into the earth
This is what I see beyond the blinds of my window
My lips quiver as the cold bites at them in ferocity
The chatter of my teeth overrides the murmur of my stomach
I feel as though I am standing on the top of a mountain
Though my thoughts lay steady in the deepest of graves
Even the softest and thickest blankets feeling of heaven couldn’t keep me warm
The smothering sound of my air conditioner roaring on in the silence of my dorm
I shake in wonder of where summer has gone
Maybe I’ve Seen All I Can See
Maybe it’s the consistent voices outside of my window while I’m trying to sleep
Or the fact that I kept my bed so high that most days it keeps me from counting sheep
Maybe it’s the melancholy smiles on everyone’s faces as I walk by
Or the cold and grey sky that weeps and cries
Maybe it’s the food that tastes like cream-colored walls with a sprinkle of salt
Or the sidewalks that go on forever reaching the walked on asphalt
Maybe it’s the depression lurking in our shadows gripping our feet
Or the sun leaving quicker while the moon takes a seat
Maybe it’s the crickets wailing outside my window as they sing
Or the hornets that disappear right before they sting
Maybe it’s the fact I’ve seen all I can see
Or maybe in fact, just maybe it’s me
Written for FYS 178 with Heidi Kelley
By Viviana Barba, Jonathon Davis, & Nashanti Best
Created for LANG 120 with Amanda Wray
By Emma Lueders, Dejah Gallagher, Cason Bethea, & Malachi Williams
Created for LANG 120 with Amanda Wray
By Daphne Honer
Created for LANG 120 with Kristin Shepard
By Amanda Johnson
Created for LANG 120 with Kristin Shepard
by Paxton Cartwright, Lucy Guy, Emma McCoy-Hollrah, & Sandra Romero
Created for LANG 120 with Amanda Wray
by Kristen Frances
Mental health has been such an underrated topic in society, especially in the athletic world. Victoria Garrick shines a light on the way that mental health and illnesses are viewed in the athletic world. I’m going to talk about how mental health is thought about in society in the athletic world, and my personal experiences.
Victoria Garrick is a former Division one volleyball player, TED Talk speaker, social media influencer, and mental health advocate. Since presenting her TED Talk in 2017 on how mental health is viewed in the athletic world, Victoria has become a major advocate for mental health and body image issues. Victoria has shared her story across the country giving comfort to those who have experienced the same or similar situations. And most importantly, Victoria Garrick has been the one person to whom I feel like I can personally connect with when confronting my mental health struggles.
Victoria Garrick has been the one person to whom I feel like I can personally connect with when confronting my mental health struggles.
Victoria was able to recognize that there was a real problem with mental health in the athletic world. A mental illness is impossible to see on the outside because those who have them often find ways to hide it. If you were to take a group of 24 people 6 of those people would have some type of mental illness. During Garricks TED Talk she had asked her audience to raise their hands if they had ever had or experienced some type of physical injury, whether that be a sprained ankle, torn muscle, a broken bone, things like that. The majority of the audience had raised their hands. Garrick then asked if anyone had ever experienced a mental illness, such as depression or anxiety. Only a couple of hands were raised. “Did you feel almost that tension or like that awkwardness we just created together?”(Garrick 3:02). That tension that was created when Garrick asks the audience those questions is what she uses to her benefit when trying to explain that stereotype that we put on those who are athletes and have a mental illness. We often judge those who have mental illnesses. All because it isn’t what we as a society consider normal.
“While anyone can experience a mental health issue, today I am going to talk about mental health specifically in athletes.”(Garrick 3:47). Garrick gave an example of a day in her life as a division 1 athlete. She went through every single second and explained every moment where she would have felt that anxiety kick in. “…also I need office hours probably with a professor who thinks his class is the only thing I have to do in my life then I have an exam which I probably only know 20% of so I’m gonna block out time to study in a really master that 20% on top of all my other homework and oops maybe I have 6 a.m. running because my teammates going through the same stuff I am and she was late one day but don’t forget games on Friday and Sunday out of state so now I’m missing these days of class for travel…” (Garrick 6:48-7:21).
Being an athlete can be very difficult at times when you are having to perform well on the court or the field. We are later expected to perform just as well if not better in school or social life. What many coaches, parents, or even friends don’t realize is how much stress one is put under that can cause serious thoughts and emotions that one may not have ever experienced beforehand. Garrick had never experienced feelings of depression or anxiety in high school. Once Victoria got to college she had a very difficult time finding ways to cope with the pressures she was under as a Division 1 athlete at University of Southern California.
What many coaches, parents, or even friends don’t realize is how much stress one is put under that can cause serious thoughts and emotions that one may not have ever experienced beforehand.
When talking about mental health in society today it is most definitely a more open topic as compared to just a couple of years ago when Victoria first made her Ted Talk in 2017. “I battled depression for half a year without even knowing I was.”(Garrick 8:13). Mental health and illness was very controversial as there are so many opinions on it and how it could be treated. Oftentimes therapy and medications are recommended for mental illnesses. But in the athletic world, things are quite different. Mental health is more often than not pushed to the side and athletes are told to toughen up. Coaches in today’s world, specifically in college sports, are more likely to listen and provide care for athletes so that they are ready to play under pressure. When talking about personal mental health experiences, it can be hard to talk about it because some stories can go into a very dark and scary time in one’s life. I’ve always been scared to share my experiences because I’m afraid that others will pity me and think less of me.“oh my god I’m one of those people now like I have a therapist.” (Garrick 9:37) But today I want to change that and share my experiences as Victoria did so one day I can look back and see how much I’ve grown as a person. So that one day I can make even just one other person feel like they aren’t the only one who feels the same way I felt in high school.
But today I want to . . . share my experiences as Victoria did so one day I can look back and see how much I’ve grown as a person. So that one day I can make even just one other person feel like they aren’t the only one who feels the same way I felt in high school.
Volleyball was my way of letting out all my emotions no matter what they were, and to sometimes not have my escape for life 100% safe and secure all the time was scary. Through this I found other ways to escape. I tried journaling, painting, drawing, reading, and watching tv. I found that for me painting or coloring was the best way for me to escape when my volleyball world was under construction. Without volleyball falling through for me from time to time I wouldn’t have branched out and tried different forms of art or for me, different ways of escape.
At the very beginning of my junior year in high school, I was saddened to get the news that my mom, who had already been battling with other health problems, was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. I was so upset that such a vicious disease would grow in such an amazing person’s body. The body of the woman who I knew as the kindest, caring, and generous person in the world and most importantly, my mom. As news came out about my mom’s diagnosis to close friends and long-distance family I was overwhelmed with people expressing how sorry they were. And I kept wondering why on earth people kept apologizing when they were not the reason why my mom had this awful disease. They didn’t do anything to make the cancer cells in my mom’s body appear. I was so angry at the world for putting my mom through another battle, it was the last thing she deserved in her life.
Luckily I had volleyball, well kinda…you see I was a starter on my volleyball team, meaning every inkling of pressure to perform was most definitely on my shoulders. I didn’t have time to think about how my mom’s doctor’s appointment went or whether or not she would have to go through chemotherapy or radiation. Or even beginning to think about whether or not she would beat this evil thing that decided to grow in her body. That I ultimately learned to hate and despise with every ounce of passion I had in my body. Between keeping my grades up, and being ready to perform on the court, my mind was full. And when my mom was diagnosed, it most definitely didn’t stop filling up. I felt like I couldn’t breathe without having this uneasy feeling in the depths of my stomach. I just couldn’t stop myself from thinking about that moment when my mom first told me that she had breast cancer.
I felt like I couldn’t breathe without having this uneasy feeling in the depths of my stomach. I just couldn’t stop myself from thinking about that moment when my mom first told me that she had breast cancer.
When I first told my coach the news about my mom he offered his full support and condolences. But when I finally found out that my mom was going to need to have surgery and that it was on the one day that we had our furthest away game, things changed. Instead of my coach showing sympathy and offering to let me take the game off to be there for my mom, he simply just assumed that I was going to be at the game and that I was going to perform my best. “Wow, I’m so sorry to hear that Kristen.” Just those words got under my skin, for the only thing to come out of my coach’s mouth was that he was sorry. How dare he, why not say, “Do you need to take time off?”. I got this pit in my stomach that I couldn’t get rid of just thinking about the fact that my parents wouldn’t be at my game when they had come to every single game before. To not see my mom sitting in the stands and hearing her cheer me on made me sad. And the worst part was that I wouldn’t know how her surgery went until after I got home at 11 p.m. And to answer the question you all might be asking, no I was not able to call her because my coaches would take our phones away from us when we were on the bus, and no he didn’t make an exception for me. The next day when I walked into practice I couldn’t help but sob my eyes out. And yet even when I was wearing my emotions and heart on my sleeve, I was still expected to play my best and leave everything that was going on at home at the door. Granted, I don’t think my coach even paid attention to my puffy eyes and bright red face as I walked into the gym.
I know that I am not the only athlete who has ever had to go through an experience where they were expected to just push through and be ok no matter what. Victoria has inspired me to voice my experiences and to let others know that even though it is not ok to be treated like this, there are still others out there who have gone through something similar. Victoria’s TED Talk made me feel and realize that I wasn’t alone in this world where being depressed or anxiety-ridden is frowned upon all because you don’t want to be seen as weak or lesser. That feeling of having to constantly compete for your spot on that court because you know that somebody is fighting just as hard as you, if not harder, to get that starting spot on the court.
Overall, the lessons I learned from Victoria Garrick alone have been unbelievable. She has created a platform that has consistently not only made me feel more confident about who I am, and more confident in how I feel mentally as well. The most important lesson that I have learned from watching Victoria over the past couple of years is that it is ok to have feelings and to show them on your sleeve. “ I was confused because I was known to always be the most energetic, the most bubbly and talkative and always happy so I said put on this face and just fake it but after a while I couldn’t fake it.” (Garick 9:09-9:23) It’s ok to not be ok every day of your life, it’s ok to make mistakes and to fail.
It’s ok to not be ok every day of your life, it’s ok to make mistakes and to fail.
Because at the end of the day, you have to realize that you will have the next day and the rest of your life to try again. Just because you take medication for anxiety like me, go to therapy, or do anything else to help your mental health, whether you are an athlete or not, does not, no matter what circumstances you are in, does not make you less of a human being or weak. What you do to keep yourself happy and healthy does not have any impact on how others should view you.
Work Cited
TEDxTalks. YouTube, YouTube, 2 June 2017, www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sdk7pLpbIls.
Written for LANG 120 with Ayelet Even-Nur
by Maddox Harrison
Artist statement: As a forensics student, I enjoy incorporating anatomy and what would be considered “creepy/macabre” subject matter into my artworks. When I heard the tale of U’tlun’ta (or Spearfinger) during our trip to the Museum of the Cherokee Indian, I knew I had to illustrate her in all her terrifying glory!
Created for FYS 178 with Judy Beck
by Elijah Jefferson
The book that has transformed me as a person and how I work is Wonder by R.J Palicio. My first time encountering this book was in 5th grade during my Reading class and this was assigned as the class novel. The first time reading this I was very reluctant to read it because I thought it was going to be very corny and something that I would not have any interest in reading. Over the course of the class and reading this book I started to realize that this book had a big emotional and life changing message behind it. My perspective of the book changed when I grew to connect with Auggie because of his physical disability and the way he was treated. I understood that he went through the same types of things that I went through in my life and that made me really like the book more and really want to keep reading it. A part of the book I really connected to was when Auggie says “ I wish everyday was Halloween. We could all wear masks all the time. Then we could walk around and get to know each other before we get to see what we looked like under the masks’ ‘ (Palacio page 73). I connected with this part because Auggie wanted to be known for something other than his looks that made him different and I can connect to that because sometimes I also desire to be invisible and not have anyone know how I’m different from them because people look at you differently. I understand why he wanted to wear masks all the time because it would allow for him to blend in without people treating him different from one another because he is inherently different from others.
I understand why he wanted to wear masks all the time because it would allow for him to blend in without people treating him different from one another because he is inherently different from others.
I connect with this because as I had cancer when I was younger I have always been bullied for it and sometimes I just wish I was invisible and was not different from everyone. The book gave me a clear sense of my identity because just like Auggie I came to understand that my past and my differences are what makes me the person I truly am. Wonder changed me because the theme of the book was kindness and how kindness can be overlooked a lot of the times but as one of my favorite quotes says “ no act of kindness no matter how small is ever wasted” ( Aristotle). This quote relates to this book and my life because personally I will never forget the people who treated me like a normal human being when they found out about my past just as well as i’m sure Auggie will never forget those that were nice to him from the start of his journey to the end of his journey. I say this because people can forget what you say and what you do but they will never forget how you made them feel. In the real world you make more of a difference helping people and being nice than you do just saying that you’re there for them or something and it really shows how much you are there for them in life. Another reason I really connect to this book is because sometimes you expect the worst in a situation that never turns out that way. In Section 6 of the book Auggie says “ Funny how sometimes you worry a lot about something and it turns out to be nothing” ( Palacio page 215). This quote speaks volumes because as the main character Auggie usually prepares to be bullied and everything in his life but never expected to find friends that really care about him and want the best for himself. This connects to life because sometimes you expect the worst from people and they surprise you and never actually let you down as you expected. This quote spoke to me because it showed me that I have to stop assuming the worst out of people and allow for some hope and a good situation at the end of the day. R.J Palacio wrote this book with so many messages and it really spoke to me so much because it was so powerful to see that other people went through the same thing that I went through in my life going to school after having a medical condition.
it was so powerful to see that other people went through the same thing that I went through in my life going to school after having a medical condition.
The reason this novel was so touching to me was because I feel like God gives his toughest soldiers the toughest journeys and it wasn’t until I realized that that the reason I’ve been through so much in my life is because God knew I would make it through it all and prevail after all.
The book Wonder was so life changing because it changed the way I approached life and challenges. Palacio was so instrumental in developing my character because I learned so many things from this novel and it helped so much. If I had never read this book I would not be the person I am today because I would have never had the confidence to be my own person and be proud of my flaws.
If I had never read this book I would not be the person I am today because I would have never had the confidence to be my own person and be proud of my flaws.
Written for LANG 120 with Ayelet Even-Nur